Elope

'Mangalojongkon Boru': a tradition 
of elopement in Mandailing

Already a human nature, that they were made ​​by the Creator (God) with two different sexes, namely 'si lian' (‘men’) and 'si taing' (‘women’). When they are small often play together in the fields and garden, on the edge of the river and the forest, or even in their own hometown. But as an adult ('Aqeel-baliq') they no longer get along intimate childhood as constrained by social norms (customary).  If in Mandailing, according to the old tradition, a young man sleeping with peers in a 'sopo podoman' which they made themselves on the edge of the village where they lived, while a girl also sleeping with peers (women) in 'bagas podoman' that usually belonging to an elderly widow (called 'mabalu') because her husband had died.

As a young man who has a raging desire to always be making love - affection (love) with the opposite sex with a love affair in secret, a young man will usually conduct 'mangkusip' on 'bagas podoman' a girl who craves at the time midnight. With the help of a wind instrument called 'tulila', he hopes to be wake her idol's heart so that they can whisper dialogue (called 'markusip') on the still night. Not infrequently, even though she had been awakened from his sleep being disturbed 'tulila' which sounds a bit like the sound of the ‘mosquito’, but he remained silent while enjoying the melodic 'tulila' melodious-woo. 

Not long afterwards, perhaps because his heart was touched by sound 'tulila' or may also be due to feelings of sympathy and compassion (‘pity’), then the girls usually give a response (called 'mangalus' ) of the 'bagas podoman' by way of whispering to inquire purpose and the purpose of the youth 'mangkusip'. When in fact the girl had already knew that the young man wanted in a relationship with him. If the girls want to accept the young man as her lover, then a date in the evening activities ('markusip') that continued once or twice a week until finally they both agree to live together (being husband and wife). To that end, usually the girl request the young man that - quiverful immediately came to apply to her parent and extended family. May be, the proposal not be accepted (rejected) with a wide variety of reasons by parents and extended family girl. Nevertheless, there is still a recourse for both of them to realize their desire to be husband and wife, namely ‘kawin lari’ ('elope') which in the language of (indigenous) Mandailing called 'marlojong' or 'mangalojongkon boru'.

In the tradition (custom) 'marlojong' is usually the only girl carrying supplies (clothes) as only needed and that his departure was accompanied by one or two people (girls) best friends (called 'pandongani'). But before going together to the young man's parents house, usually the girl who will 'marlojong' it will left a message (letter) in 'bagas podoman' to let him go where and with whom. When they got home the boy 's parents, too soon the young man's parents - quiverful gather nearby to deliberate on issues of their boys who had brought a girl into their home to be his future wife. The results of the deliberations that usually they agreed to send a special envoy to the house of the girl's parents to convey the 'Hata Bou: Mandokon Ulang Agoan' (‘message from the boy 's mother that the girl's parents and family no longer need to feel lost or looking for girl have been safely in the young man's parents house’). 

After the girl 's were in the parents house of the youth and cultural activities ‘MandokonUlang Agoan (Hata Bou) was already done in the girl's parent's house, then in the young man's parents usually also held a special activity for the young people called ‘marburangir’ or ‘paboru- boruon’ at night after evening prayers (shalat Isya). In the event these young people, the girl as ‘bride’ (called ‘paboru-boruon’) introduced to the local youth, while her future husband it should not be there. This activity is called ‘marburangir’ for in the event youth is provided ‘burangir’ (‘betel leaf’) and completeness (ie ‘sontang’, ‘soda’, and ‘pining’) as ‘custom food’ (in ‘marburangir’ customary among young people) among them while chatting on a beautiful evening and and it's a fun activity for all young people. 

To create a festive atmosphere and full familiarity among them at night, not infrequently one or two of the local youth asked the girl (bride) to make ‘burangir’ (called ‘maniktiktik burangir’) specifically for him, or to any other girl he liked, who was also present there, even more so to the ‘pandangoni’ of the bride, who is also beautiful when young men would often be asked, even those scrambling to make a request ‘manitik burangir’ as a way to be able to meet in person and at the same also to tease him. In the course of young indigenous ‘marburangir’ this, the young people are often using ‘ende-ende’ (also called ‘pantun’) and ‘uling-kulingan anca’ (‘guessing game’) to reveal their hearts and feelings when interacting (communicating) the each other. ‘Marbungir’ or ‘paboru-boruon’ activity usually lasts for three consecutive nights until late at night, can even last for seven nights in a row for ‘nobility’ (called ‘na mora-mora’ or ‘raja-raja’) in Mandailing. After completing the activities 'marburangir' this, then held traditional wedding ceremony (called 'markaroan' or 'marbagas') ranging from morning to evening.

Ideally something like that expected from the end of an event 'mangalojongkon boru'. However, not infrequently it can create 'hostility' protracted among families of both parties. And for those people who likes to describe 'feud between the two families' is a very unusual incident by saying: "Ulang do pasitik sotik mang get marsitampulan !" 

Until now, the tradition of 'marlojong' is still ongoing in Mandailing. But unfortunately, the events 'marlojong' is sometimes addressed by applying criminal law heritage Dutch colonial power, where any act that violates the laws and regulations (‘err’) should still go to jail, for example one is like a case of an elderly woman in Prabumulih-Lampung regency caught stealing 'singkong' ('cassava') to fill the hungry stomach but was sentenced for 2.5 years. According to the Minister of Justice and Human Rights Patrialis Akbar, the Code of Penal ('KUHP') are now less reflects the sense of justice and the soul of Indonesia, because the Criminal Code itself is a legacy of the Dutch colonial power in the past. In this case, "Changing the legacy of the Dutch Criminal Code is an urgent program to be conducted by the Ministry of Justice and Human Rights. Patrialis Akbar also assured to include 'customary law' in the Criminal Code. Because customary law is a reflection of the soul of Indonesia, especially for people who have embraced for generations. It is true, that the supposed rules of law which is adequate for real life in society ('living law') such as customary law 'Mandokon Ulang Agoan' ('Hata Bou') to address issues such as the case of 'mangalojongkon boru', which from one side sometimes still seen as criminal offense. Although the 'tulang' or 'mora' ('uncle') of the girls had a big hand as 'na pagodang-godangna' so he often request 'batang boban' ('dowry') were higher to the family of the young man for those girls were like 'sere saulu ni kudo '('gold for at the head of a horse). His family (boy and families) does not need to worry because 'tola do marutang sapanjang adat' (possible owed ​​by custom), as the saying goes "hata-dupang dupang, hata-hata do panggayar utang". That is, 'the words' can be used as a means of paying the debt. In connection with that, events 'marlojong' ('mangalojongkon boru') in Mandailing more appropriately addressed by performing traditional ceremonies ‘Mandokon Ulang Agoan’ (‘Hata Bou’) is ‘local wisdom’ as a heritage of the Mandailing people.

Gandoang. March, 04, 2014.

Edi Nasution

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